My guess is that—just as students tend to overestimate how often their peers are hooking up—working-class young adults tend to overestimate how often their partners are cheating.
That suspicion is a symptom of distrust, and the distrust seems a symptom of a sexual culture that tends towards objectification of the person, as well as an ambiguous relationship script that blurs lines, devalues clear communication and makes cheating easier because it is sometimes unclear what the expectations are.
But, however it started, the path from first meeting to official relationship status was usually complicated.
It’s interesting (and heart wrenching) to think how hookup culture and serial monogamy may contribute to these statistics. The existence of hookup culture at the local bar scene and he and his girlfriend’s past dalliances were enough to rattle his confidence in her fidelity.Wade notes that several students told her that hookups lead to “trust issues,” and she quotes another student who said, “Like most girls I want to hook up with, I don’t trust her.” Another commented that there is “an inherent lack of trust in everyone and everything.” When my husband and I asked young adults who did not go to college about the challenges in their relationships, over and over again we also heard about “trust issues.” Dan, 20, was talking with his ex-girlfriend about moving back in together after a long break. Likewise, he acknowledged the possibility that she struggled to trust that he wouldn’t “revert back” to his “old self”—the self that partied hard and slept around.' Hooking up' implies an ongoing arrangement, while 'hooking up sometimes' suggests that any further hooking up is random instead of intentional.' Talking' and 'hanging out' suggest that two people who are hooking up may also be seeing each other on purpose, in daylight, when they’re sober.In her book, sociologist Lisa Wade observes of college students, Between the hookup and a monogamous relationship is 'talking,' 'hanging out,' being 'exclusive,' 'dating but not in a relationship,' and a whole host of other statuses.
' I just don’t know if, like, we hook up sometimes or like, we’re ‘hooking up,’ wondered a male student one day about a girl he liked.It’s difficult to figure out which path you are on, and this ambiguity seems to plague young adults regardless of education level.The third similarity is not surprising given the context of relationship ambiguity and sexual violence: young adults live in a culture of distrust, particularly gender distrust.But young adults we spoke with were quick to blame the prevailing relationship culture for creating an environment of low trust.They sometimes also blamed the kinds of technology—social media, dating apps—that they saw as facilitating casual sex and cheating.A 2014 Pew survey found that just 19 percent of Millennials say most people can be trusted, compared with 31 percent of Gen Xers, 37 percent of Silents and 40 percent of Boomers. She’s gonna have to trust me when I go out with my friends that I’m not gonna revert back to my old self and try to sleep with somebody.